Church of the Tall Bike

blessed be thy zoobomb on a small tall.

2010-11-28T13:20:00.001-08:00

Tall Bike Construction Primer

2010-10-31T14:17:00.000-07:00

From the Laboratory of C.H.U.N.K. 666:

A Tall Bike Construction Primer

With the recent exponential multiplication of tall bikes across the country and even around the world, a primer on their construction hardly seems necessary. Still, for the sake of those just starting we provide here the basic steps and notes for the construction of the classic "one bike on top of another" design. By no means that this design is canonical, for there are many approaches by which one may make a bike tall. But purists and the aesthetically inclined may find the classic design more deserving of elaboration.
read more...

1. Two bike frames of near-identical length are required. If both head tubes are aligned the bottom bracket of the top bike should rest dead center atop the seat tube of the bottom bike. In a pinch, give or take half an inch.

2.. Remove the seat, seatpost and handlebars from the bottom bike. Remove the handlebars, crankset, and wheels from the top bike.

3. Cut the seat and chain stays (the "rear triangle") off the top bike.

4. Find a piece of steel pipe that will sleeve into the steer tube of the bottom bike's fork. This is usually about half an inch in diameter. It should also be long enough to sleeve an inch or more into the top bike's steer tube.

5. Some steer tubes have an open bottom, so that you could sleeve a pipe through the top and right on through and out the bottom. Find one of these forks or use a grinder open up the bottom of a fork. Either way, this is going to be top fork of your steer-tube extension. Cut the fork blades off the top fork. Put the fork back on the top bike.

6. With the lower bike standing on its kickstand or leaning against a chair, drop your half-inch steel pipe into the bottom steer tube. Then take the top bike and sleeve the top steer tube onto the steel pipe. This should be a relatively snug fit and you should be able to simply rest the top bike's bottom bracket on the top of the lower bike's seat tube, and the whole thing should stand on its own without your support. Make sure you've cleaned and greased all your bearings in the steer tube set because once its welded you can't take them apart again!

7. Examine the point where the top bottom bracket is contacting the lower bike's seat tube. Is there a lot of contact there? You might want to file or grind the seat tube to get more metal-to-metal contact.

8. You are ready to jig! Take two wood boards and place one on each side of your tallbike.

Use old inner tubes, rope, whatever, to lash the boards together snugly, sandwiching the bikes between them. This will align the two frames with eachother.

Eyeball and doublecheck to be sure, but honestly, the best test is to just try turning the front wheel with your hand. If the bikes are lined up sufficiently, the steer-tube of the top fork will turn in a smooth fashion when you move the wheel.

9. Time to weld. Put tack welds at the contact point between the top bottom bracket and lower bike's seat tube. Then tack welds at the bottom and top contact points of steer-tube extension. Let cool. Remove the jig. Complete welds.

10. Add a gusset between the top and bottom bikes in front of the top bottom bracket. Maybe even a second running parallel behind the steer tube. This is too reduce flex stress on the bottom bracket/seat tube welds.

11. Put the crankset back on. Add chain. You can run a chain directly to the back wheel, as shown in Figure 4

Or you can make a triangular chaindrive by looping the chain around a still intact lower bottom bracket, as shown in Figure 5.

source: http://chunk666lab.blogspot.com/

4Play for Bike Porn 4: PLAY in SALT

2010-10-19T06:44:00.000-07:00

Bike Porn 4: Play is visiting Salt Lake City on November 12, 2010. RSVP here.

Videos for play to get ready for Bike Smut Bike Porn 4: PLAY (nsfw):

Bike Porn 1:

Bike Porn 2:

Bike Porn 3:

Bike Porn 4:

Friday, November 12 at 9:00pm
Point Six Percent Productions
1130 South Richardson Street (entrance in back)
$5 donation
ages 18+
Salt Lake City, UT

Behold, the Jesus of Tall Bikes Cometh to PDX.

2010-08-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

Its a new dawn for the Tall Bike and this Jesus that rides them as he looks to the west.

Portland, Oregon, months, moments away will soon be the home of this here TBJ.

Prepare your temples, alert your priest, burn your offerings of SUVs -

Tall Bike Jesus will be living in Portland soon enough -

and from the broken, the frayed, will join in the building of the great underground bike culture as prophesied and burnt in the book of the Big Rings spandex clad warriors.

Light up your Zoobombs

Porn your bicycles

Get your SHIFT together

It will be a ride.

amen.

Church Of the Bicycle Jesus

2010-07-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

"Our father,whose art's in heaven, hollow be thy frame. Thy links' cogs run. Thy wheel be done on earth, as it is in bicycle heaven. Give us this day our steely thread. And forgive us our dents, as we forgive our denters, or dentees. So why not lead us into temptation, for after all, you're delivering us from evil: for thine is the kingdom, and the pedal power, and the chrome-plated glory, for ever. AMEN"

-Church Of the Bicycle Jesus

World Premiere of Bike Porn 4:PLAY feat. Tall Bike Jesus

2010-06-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

Bike Porn 4: Play

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St

Portland, Oregon

Premiering Friday, June 11th at 7pm & 9pm

Additional Shows: Fri 6/18 9pm, Sun 6/20 9pm

Mon 6/21 9pm, Tues 6/22 9pm, Wed 6/23 9pm

$6 ~ 18 and over

http://bikeporntour.blogspot.com/

Drill Baby Drill, Kill Baby Kill.

2010-06-11T08:21:00.000-07:00

"Our dependency on oil created a market and BP responded to that market. Blaming BP for this disaster is short sided and scape goating the bigger picture: We need sustainable transportation now. Not tomorrow, not the next day after - now. We can't afford further human cost, environmental cost. The disaster isn't in the sea. Its everywhere. Its in the streets, its spilling from the factory on the corner, its in the inversion that looms over Salt Lake City in the winter. It is in our water, it is in our air, the food we eat, the air we breathe."

- Tall Bike Jesus

Your own Personal Tall Bike Jesus.

2010-05-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

Listen to the Mix: http://djthezed.dmusic.com/music/stream/hifi/380702/.d497edd5/stream.m3u

Download the Mix: http://djthezed.dmusic.com/music/download/380702/.d497edd5

Church of the Tall Bike Rides June 13th.

2010-05-06T12:47:00.000-07:00

Brothers and Sisters, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, the time, the day, the hour of the almighty Tall Bike is at hand.

Tall Bikes exalted on high, other bikes acceptable.

Biblical costumes blessed, regular clothes acceptable.

Come, let us celebrate Pedalpalooza 2010.

amen.

Col. Summers Park, SE 20th Ave and Belmont St
meet @ 5p, ride @ 6p. (Meet at the Pavilion)

event details:
http://shift2bikes.org/cal/viewpp2010.php#13-1492
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=119547188073112

somthing wickedly awesome comes this way.

2010-04-22T14:31:00.001-07:00

somthing wickedly awesome comes this way.
Originally uploaded by thezed

A Call For Apostles!

2010-04-15T00:22:00.000-07:00

http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/act/1693031777.html

April Fools TALL BIKE JOUST

2010-03-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

Let us ride these 2 story beasts of mechanical burden and go forth and joust. Amen.

April Fools TALL BIKE JOUST
Type:
Sports - Tournament
Start Time:
Saturday, April 3, 2010 at 9:00pm
End Time:
Sunday, April 4, 2010 at 12:00am
Location:
Secret Location.... (bring a bike, meet at Gallivan Plaza)

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=364241679677&ref=ts

http://saltcycle.blogspot.com

Prophecy: The Second Coming of Tall Bike Jesus - Cyclegeddon as we know it.

2010-02-09T19:36:00.000-08:00

in an effort to convert the masses to the almighty bicycle, a rebirth of the man they call TBJ.

http://www.facebook.com/tallbikejesus

TBJ @ august SALT TB joust.

2009-09-01T12:58:00.001-07:00

the Immaculate Conception of TallBikeJesus

2009-08-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Holy! Holy! Be thy name Tall Bike Jesus! To which we claim the immaculate conception of TBJ to the grand designs of the Holy Tall Bike which rides. Know we if this was thee Tall Bike which created TBJ?

Nay, we know not.

But by the grace of the Zeus Tall Bike Jesus can only raise up upon his noble steed by this, the Holy Mother of Tall Bikes and dream on his stead that he was conceived by such a beautiful wonder of a girl - TallBike.

source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kevinwagoner/3839287784/in/set-72157621966148843/

2009-08-04T20:46:00.001-07:00

TallBike Jesus will be hosting a tallbike joust. august 21st. in the city of salt. 9:30p. gallivan plaza. be there for the redemption of your bicycle depends on it.

Bicycle Jesus, Not To Be Confused W/ Tall Bike Jesus

2009-07-31T00:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.fortunecity.com/olympia/cobb/117/bj.htm

The Bicycle Lord's Prayer

Our Father, whose art's in heaven,
Hollow be thy frame. Thy links' cogs run.
Thy wheel be done on earth, as it is in bicycle heaven.
Give us this day our steely thread.
And forgive us our dents, as we forgive our denters, or dentees.
So why not lead us into temptation, as long as you're delivering us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the pedal power, and the chrome-plated glory, for ever.

Amen.

2009-07-28T15:39:00.000-07:00

and now TBJ (Tall Bike Jesus) Reads from the book of the Tall Bible:

the book of Cranks
Chapter 1
Verse 2

The shadows. The sounds.
Its ritualistic, the blood of the tall bicycle spilling in grinded, welded and melted metal scraps.
Its alive! Its alive.

Ride it.

to tall bike joust is divine.

2009-05-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

in the city of Salt we are new to this sport known as tall bike jousting, as borrowed from black label.

above, is our divine intervention to convert the masses to the tall bike joust. so far the reception has been great, but more need to be converted to this sport.

we aren't black label, nor claim such a title, but here in the city of salt we do believe that we add variety to the bicycle.

praise tallie.

Jesus Christ on a Bicycle

2009-05-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

According to the Urban Dictionary, the term Jesus Christ on a Bicycle is "the using of christ's name, not necessarily in vain, but to exclaim surprise, disbelief, or disgust."

Jesus Christ on a bike doesn't give me surprise. It gives me contemplation.
A song if you will...

If God had a bike
What would it be, and would you ride it
If you were faced with him and found he rode a Huffy
What would you ask if you had just one question?

Yeah, yeah- God is great
Yeah, yeah- Bike is good
Yeah, yeah- Yeah (x3)

CHORUS
What if God was one us
Rode a bike among all of us
Just a stranger on cruiser, trying to make his way home..

If God had a fixed
What would it look like and would you want to see
The twirling pink aerospokes in the wind
In things like neon, obama spoke cards and shorts too skinny

Yeah, yeah- God is great
Yeah, yeah- Bike is good
Yeah, yeah- Yeah (x3)

CHORUS
What if God was one of us
Rode a bike among all of us
Just a stranger on cruiser, trying to make his way home..

Trying to make his way home
Flat tire guess he needs to pray home
Nobody callin' on the phone
'Cept for the Flying Scot in the Velodrome...

Yeah, yeah- God is great
Yeah, yeah- Bike is good
Yeah, yeah- Yeah (x3)

CHORUS

Trying to make his way home
Flat tire guess he needs to pray home
Nobody callin' on the phone
'Cept for the Flying Scot in the Velodrome...

Bicycle Jesus

2009-05-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

Bicycle Jesus brought us the tallbike, so that we might ride closer to bicycle heaven. And the kickstand, too, so we might always have something to lean on when his shoulder is not near. And there is so much more... -deadbabybikes.org

Read the story of Bicycle Jesus.

this is Church of the Tall Bike.

2009-05-03T18:15:00.001-07:00